So I'm sitting at work the other day...

and this 35ish female co-worker comes up to me (someone whom I don't even know) and asks if I could bring a bottle of water downstairs to the machine (those big ones that you turn over and set into the machine to make little water coolers). I was floored. I work in a predominantly female industry at a company that seems to be more female oriented then most (at least in the middle management). I've gotten used to the whole, "Jeff, I'm not tall, can you get that thing up there?" or "Jeff, do you mind helping move this couch?" But to have a complete stranger stop at my desk and ask if I could move a water bottle for her. Well, to say the least I was a little perturbed.

This sort of "harmless" is, what I think, what causes alot of the more harmful sexism to occur. If I get used to being, "The big strong man" at the office. The one who lifts and carries things around. Then there's a certain amount of resentment that carries over. I respect people who do things for themselves. It's one of the (many) things I like about my wife. I can't begin to imagine her asking a coworker to carry something for her. So now, this lady whom I still don't know, has lost some of my respect. It probably doesn't matter to her as I am not nor will I probably ever be her boss but this is not the only time I see stuff like this happen.

I've seen loan officers get asked to do similar stuff by their subordinates. I've seen upper-management get asked to do stuff by secretaries. Is it any wonder then that those people get passed up when it comes time to look for promotions. There's a perception that doing something physically burdensome or awkward is in some ways "unseemly" for a woman. Frankly, I think it's only unseemly if you rely on sexism to get what you want but deny it and fight it the rest of the time.

It's funny that her manners were the thing that really touched me off. She was so curt and unfriendly that it was obvious that she looked for the nearest male and then asked that person (heedless of what they might actually be working on) to lift something that was just to heavy for her poor, weak little arms. Had she introduced herself and then actually asked politely with something resembling proper manners and friendliness I probably never would have written this post.

Ah, well. Such is life.